Why can't i believe there is a god?

for the longest time i haven't even acknowledged that there could be a god. but before i got pregnant i became interested in knowing about the bible God. and when i was pregnant i got punched in my belly and i felt incredible pain unlike any other in my belly. i went to the washroom and prayed that God would help my baby and save her and put the pain unto me instead of her. i was bleeding and still bled 2 days after. i went to the doctors and they told me that my baby was Absolutely healthy but i had an explosion in my cervix. it healed. and my baby came out healthy. for a while i felt like i accepted God. but i realized i didn't. it was just the surroundings that i was moved to. i read an article saying that logic isn't enough to prove to people that there is a god out there. i feel like i'm back to square one where i used to be. its hard for me to imagine that Jesus and Solomon and David and Adem & Eve ever existed. i was having process in believing in him. but its gone and i didn't know why. if i have a baby shouldn't god if there is a god be in-plating in my mind that hes real for my baby's well being. or dose god not care about her? how do i even know there is a god? it seems pretty obvious right? well its not to me, i see the sun go up and down. i wonder why do we live in a giant ball in the middle of the Universe. how does this world stay perfectly without falling out of its place. science can prove this but what proves who made this world and everything in it. i'm not even sure if i can believe there is a god. i'm so hard headed and it makes me sad that i can't believe but i can't. its hard! plz someone help!